I know it's hard to be two-almost-fwee, but seriously, son, let's try to keep it real. Let's try, anyways. Here are a few points to ponder...
Mommy is not your personal slave. I may be your personal chef, maid, and caregiver, but I am NOT your slave. "Get my duck", is not my favorite line,and when I ask you to ask a different way, "MOMMY, GET IT NOW!" is never going to go over well. EVER.
Stop crying when it's time to get dressed. Both of your grandmothers have spent a fortune on clothes for you, wear them. Pajamas all day long is not an appropriate outfit unless you live in a trailer park. Which we do not.
We have proven for many weeks now that you know how to use the potty. Randomly deciding not to is simply not an option. Pee and poop is not fun to clean off the floor. AT ALL.
Again, I feel I need to tell you that you are too big for William's exersaucer. Again, you will get stuck in it if you get in it. Ordering me to get you out will not have me running. You may, in fact, find that you will spend longer in it.
Putting your hands around William's neck is NOT hugging. It's called choking. And mommy doesn't like it.
Almost a whole bottle of Purel Hand Sanitizer at one time will not make your hands "extwa keen". One or two squirts is all you need, not the whole flippin' bottle.
To be honest, dumping all your toys everywhere and dumping your crayons and markers everywhere is not really playing. I know you think it is, but it's not. It's called a "Make More Work For Mommy Project". Throwing a tantrum because I asked you to clean up your crayons is not really necessary either.
When mommy and daddy ask you to use your fork instead of your hands to eat your rice, "No" is not the response we're looking for. "OK" works much better. And, we also expect you to actually use the fork.
Sometimes mommy temporarily loses her mind. Please do not feed off this. For example, if mommy leaves the roll of stamps on the table, do not make a picture for daddy with them. They aren't stickers.
Please do not bring your trike off the deck and ride it in the kitchen. Please.
Please do not scream at the top of your lungs and laugh when Will starts to cry.
Please do not ever, ever again ask the cashier at WalMart (or anywhere) if she has nipples. She does. EVERYONE does.
You definetly keep things interesting. Thank God for naptime. I love you, sweet boy. I hope the next fwee years are as awesome as the past fwee have been.
6 comments:
"Hey!
We read your "Memo to Jack" last night... we laughed and laughed... you are too
funny. You really should write a book. Sounds like you're having fun doing the
best job in the world.
Hugs, Jennifer
Hi Ronda,
Just want to say how much I loved your blog update. I love your writing style....very unique....have you considered writing a book, perhaps children's books? God has certainly given you a gift in writing and creativity.
I know that having 2 boys at such a young age can be a little trying, my youngest daughter had two boys also, ages 5 and 2 next month. They were both born in the month of May, 3 years apart (Cole and Jack), and they both drive her crazy. You seem to have a great handle on them and it's so great that you cherish each new experience with them on this blog. You will have all these memories of them when they grow up. Maybe you can print a hard copy of the writings from this blog and add the photos to a book, so that they will have it to read to their children when they grow up. Great to read some of the excerpts at their weddings.
Great Job!!
Frieda
When I was Jacks age it was still legal in Canada to eat chidren that were bad, well at least that's what my parents told us, lol!!!
All us kids were well behaved when we were little just ask Mike, Laura and your husband. My sister and Laura were angels, lol!
Tell Jack if he doesn't behave you'll send him to the States to live with Golf! If he says okay for God sakes tell him Golf was only joking!
Ralph and Beth
Hilarious - now I need to go get a kleenex to wipe the tears from my eyes!
OMG, that was awesome!!!! I admit that I got chills on your last part....way too sweet. What an awesome kid!!!!
Ronda...we really should get together soon, sounds like our kids would have FUN!!! I will definitely call you when we are in town next.
Jack seems like such a BIG boy now. Looks like you are having lots of fun...call me soon!
Liz
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